An open relationship is a tricky term and open for interpretation. In theory, I love the idea. You get to experience different people and you don’t have to let go of something special. In theory. I wasn’t raised this way. I was raised to get married and kids and live happily ever after. I managed marriage twice, and I have one kid. The happily ever after has eluded me thus far.

Open relationships and Polyamorous relationships were introduced to me much later in life. When I was coming up as a young woman this was cheating, affairs, and anything else…


January 8, 2021

Trust is something that comes naturally, right? From the moment we are born, we trust that those around us will take care of us. Our parents will make sure we are safe, fed, clothed, and warm. Once that trust is broken, it isn’t easy to find our comfort zone trusting again. It doesn’t matter if it is in your personal or professional life. Once that trust is lost, it is hard to get that trust back.

I have tried twice to join established couples in a way to dip my toe into the “open relationship” or “polyamorous”…


beigh background with highlited letters a quote from Oscar Wilde

January 11, 2021

Time alone has always been in a love-hate relationship with me. I way “with me” because I feel like it is an unhealthy relationship sometimes. I feel it is a healthy relationship other times. Knowing the difference has been key in accepting alone time.

I enjoy being alone. I enjoy watching TV or reading. I like the downtime when I do not feel like I have to do something. Then again, I always feel like I should be doing something other than sitting. I try to give myself a break and tell myself that I am busy…


January 5, 2021

c/w Depression / Addiction

We have to hurt to know; an unfortunate truth. This is a lesson older than time. I was raised to learn from my mistakes. I was usually told of the consequences, and then the choice was mine to make my decisions. As children, we are warned not to touch a hot stove. As adults, we have to know that we shouldn’t do certain things. You know you shouldn’t do it. Even as children, sometimes we know. We can not help ourselves, though, can we? We touch the stove, and of course, Mom was…


cartoon of a turtle laying on his back shell and all he sees is the blue sky with clouds. words Oh my I’m flying

January 4, 2021

An optimistic approach to sex came tome later in life than I would like to admit. I can call it generational, cultural, or anything else I could blame, but it is my past, and I can’t change that. However, I move forward with a more optimistic view that I have a blank canvas to create my own sexual story.

It wasn’t until my first divorce that I realized the reason I didn’t like sex could be because I hadn’t had good sex. It is of no fault of my partners (few that they were), more that I…


January 3, 2021

It had been a while since I shared my bed with someone. Even my Ex-what-ever-he-was never stayed the night with me. I always went to him. Although I had set my house up to his liking just in case, it ever happened. So when my current relationship said he could stay over, I was not only surprised and a little excited, I was also nervous.

I haven’t talked much about him because I wasn’t sure where it was going. He is a good guy. Most of them are, but most of them also have issues, baggage, or…


White woman smiling with beige sweater hand at her mouth brown hair curly mauve lipstick and dark eye shadow with brown eye

January 2, 2021 / 0 Comments

Gratitude can be a struggle! I know that is a hard thing to wrap our brains around. So many people say it should not be a struggle. Just be grateful for what you have! I agree. To a point.

I have gratitude and I am grateful for the things I have in my life. I have fought hard for all of it, not most of it, all of it. I have done it alone and with others but in the end, I know it is me that will have to pull out all the…


No matter who takes the risk, there are emotions for all involved

When he takes a risk and kisses you on the cheek for no reason other than he wanted to do, it happens far and few between, making it more special. There is truth to the point that most things in maximum supply are taken for granted. People with horses on their property rarely ride them. People that live at the beach rarely go to see the ocean. It is the things in the biggest demand that we desire most of all.

The sub in me wanted to drop to my knees to thank him. I knew this was something that…


Good or Bad, On to the Next Chapter

How many chapters is a good amount for a book? Twenty? Thirty? I guess it’s based on the information or story you are trying to tell. Then how many chapters in a lifetime is a good amount?

I break my life down in chapters. When something ends, I always say it is the end of a chapter to prepare myself for the next. My life has many chapters so far and I am about to start another one. Some of the chapters blend smoothly into the next. Some have abrupt ends and startling beginnings.

No matter the reason, the changes…


Things that look pretty aren’t always pretty

He is nice. He is quiet. He has a cute, hidden sense of humor that comes out only after you know him. She likes this. He loves dogs, has two of them. He takes his dogs everywhere with him. He spends a lot of time with his family. Visits his parents and helps them around the house. She likes this.

He is a good grandpa. Not sure he likes that title. She likes this. He knows her past, her baggage, and what scares her (some of it). She likes this. He has a bad boy streak. Tattoos and piercings. He…

Chrisykay

I am an erotic writer and blogger. Coming into my sexuality later in life, writing helps me seek out and find the real me.

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